💔 When Love Isn’t What It Seems: How to Avoid Online Dating Scams

Online dating can be a wonderful way to meet new people, but it’s also become one of the most common hunting grounds for scammers. Every week, Australians lose millions to “romance scams”, and the numbers are rising fast. In fact, they’re the second fastest growing scam, outpaced only by cryptocurrency investment scams.

Online Dating Scams Don’t Start with Money. They Start with Trust.

Scammers know how to charm, flatter, and slowly weave their way into your heart. They might say all the right things — that you’re special, that they feel a deep connection, that they can’t wait to meet you. Before long, they’ll tell you about a sudden problem: a medical emergency, a stranded trip, or an investment opportunity too good to miss. Then comes the request — “Can you help me, just this once?”

And that’s where the trap closes.

The Golden Rule

You wouldn’t hand cash to a stranger in the street, so don’t send money to someone you’ve never met in person. No matter how genuine the story sounds, if money or personal details are involved, you need to pay attention, because that's a red flag.

Spotting the Signs Early

Early detection and prevention are key to staying safe when using online dating. To do this, you need to know how to spot the early signs of trouble – the red flags. Here are some common red flags for online dating scams that can help you stay ahead of the scammers and stay safe:

• They move fast. They profess love or deep affection quickly — often within days.

  
  

• They avoid video calls. Excuses like “my camera’s broken” or “I’m working overseas” are a warning sign.

  
  

• They talk about money. Whether it’s for travel, medical costs, or an “urgent business deal”, don’t send a cent.

  
  

• They ask you to keep secrets. Scammers rely on isolation to keep their victims silent and dependent.

  
  

In an environment so highly charged with emotions, hopes and dreams, it's essential you learn to trust your gut — if something feels off, it probably is.

More Tips to Help You Date with Confidence

Building genuine connections online is possible, and it can be safe, too. Here’s how to protect yourself while keeping your heart (and your wallet) intact:

1. Never send money — like ever.

   Not by wire transfer, money order, gift card, or foreign exchange. Not for any reason. Not ever.

   
   

2. If you’re using a dating app, stay on the app.

   Scammers often try to move conversations to WhatsApp, Messenger, or other chat apps where they can’t be traced.

   
   

   Staying on the original dating platform helps you stay protected — reputable apps have built-in safety tools and reporting systems designed to keep users secure.

   
   

3. Never trust the promise of a “big return.”

   Some scammers blend romance with fake investment pitches. They’ll tempt you with talk of luxury holidays, early retirement, or easy profits — all to make you dream big and lower your guard.

   
   

   Remember the old saying: if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

   
   

4. Hard pass on anyone who wants your money.

   If your new “love” is suddenly giving you crypto or investment advice, stop right there. Report them using the in-app tools and block their account.

Stay Smart, Stay Safe

Most dating platforms now have tools to help you confirm who you’re talking to. Some offer "Selfie Verification" or similar in-app checks to verify that your match is real.

It's also important to understand that staying safe when using on-line also relies on a sort of community effort. Most apps have built-in tools that encourage you to report anyone who asks for money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency, or who raises red flags with you in some other way. Using those tools and reporting those profiles not only keeps you safe, but also helps to keep other people safe.

Apps usually charge fees, and many charge to use their built-in messaging

platform. Our advice is, provided they are a reputable dating app, pay them the few dollars needed to keep all conversations within the app. Do this at least until you’ve met in person and you have a better understanding of who the person really is.

Finally, if you’ve already shared money or personal details, or feel like you've been caught up in an online dating scam, report it straight away. You can contact ReportCyber or IDCARE for confidential help and support.

It's Okay to be (a little bit) Cynical

Okay, we admit, being cynical is not an ideal way to start a relationship. But on-line dating is not a conventional way to start a relationship either. All we're saying is you need to be aware. Trust your gut, look out for red flags, and enjoy meeting new people in the ever changing world of dating.

Real love doesn't come with requests for cash or crypto advice. Take your time, ask questions, and remember; genuine people respect boundaries. Staying cautious doesn't make you cynical - it keeps you safe.

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💡 Do’s and Don’ts for Safe Online Dating

✅ Do’s – Smart Moves for Safer Connections

• Do trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

  
  

• Do keep chats inside the dating app until you’ve met the person in real life.

  
  

• Do use in-app tools like Selfie Verification to confirm who you’re talking to.

  
  

• Do check their photos — reverse-image search can reveal if they’re stolen.

  
  

• Do take your time. Real relationships grow naturally; scammers rush things.

  
  

• Do talk to someone you trust. Friends and family can often spot red flags you might miss.

  
  

• Do report suspicious users. Help protect others by using the app’s built-in reporting tools.

  
  

• Do learn about scams. Staying informed makes you harder to fool — visit trusted sites like cyber.gov.au or idcare.org.

🚫 Don’ts – Red Flags and Risky Moves to Avoid

• Don’t send money — ever. Not through wire transfer, gift cards, crypto, or “temporary loans.”

  
  

• Don’t share personal info early. Avoid giving out your home address, ID, or banking details.

  
  

• Don’t move to other apps too soon. Scammers love unmonitored platforms like WhatsApp or Messenger.

  
  

• Don’t believe in “too good to be true.” Big love and big investments rarely mix.

  
  

• Don’t fall for emotional pressure. Scammers use guilt, fear, or flattery to manipulate you.

  
  

• Don’t ignore warning signs. Excuses about broken cameras, travel delays, or sudden emergencies are classic tricks.